Tipperary family who fostered three siblings say their 'instant family' is their world
“Next thing we added a baby to the cast”. Hayley and Grant Dowling from Cahir have described fostering three children as the best thing they ever did
To mark National Fostering Awareness Month, Tipperary woman Hayley Dowling reflects on how fostering has not only changed the lives of the three children she and her husband support but has enhanced their own lives too.
“My husband Grant and I had thought about fostering for several years but we had never acted on it. We had foreign students every year and that was a very positive experience,” said Hayley.“
We liked showing them the culture. We had 14 in total over the years and typically they came for six months to a year. There was one, in particular, and she was having a rough time with her family, and she came out to us and we really helped her. That was the start of us believing we could become foster parents.
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Then we watched a film: ‘Instant Family’ and we called Tusla Fostering and ended up having three siblings just like the film!’Parents to two children, Hayley and Grant started their fostering journey in their Cahir home in 2019 and after 18 months they got word their household was about to grow by three. They suddenly had three siblings into their home–one of whom was a baby!
“We were very supported throughout those 18 months, and the experience was very positive. We know some families who have said they are thinking about it, and one family is now going on their fostering journey. It’s the most rewarding and life changing experience we’ve ever had, but also the most challenging. The last five years have certainly changed our lives, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s the best thing I ever did.”
Hayley and Grant's children were aged nine and 12 when the new arrivals moved in.
“We were very conscious that it didn’t impact the children negatively. We didn’t know what was in front of us and we wanted to make sure we were doing the right thing from their perspective, so they had to very much be onboard with it. We were excited and we also didn’t know what the future held, so there was a bit of nervousness about it as well. We took it very seriously and it had to be a joint decision as a family.”
The excitement of having a baby in the house had left a massive impression on the youngest member of the family.
“The younger child was in her element with a baby, so she was living the dream because she always wanted to have a younger brother and sister and next thing we added a baby to the cast.“
Taking three children in one go was quite overwhelming and we both wondered how we would cope with it, but we had our Tusla social worker and foster link worker for support. We reached out on many occasions and one piece of advice really stuck out and helped and that was - give the child a hug.”
Having three foster children in the house has been a huge personal growth experience for the children.
“It’s given them a lot of aspects of life they would never have seen in their own life. They’ve had to step up and be role models and be mature. We’ve just been on holiday and they were great with them. It’s not just us fostering, it’s the four of us doing it, for sure. Seeking the resources and support when you need is vital. We’ve always had great support from Tusla.”
“The middle fella absolutely adores my oldest, who’s 17 now. He follows him around the entire time. He idolises him.”
For National Fostering Awareness Month, Tusla Fostering – the national agency for foster care – is seeking foster carers from all walks of life across Ireland to help ensure young people can stay connected to their communities.
A local foster family will ensure a young person can maintain important connections with their friends, sports, school, and community, and reach their full potential.There are many misconceptions around who is, or isn’t, eligible to foster.
Tusla Fostering currently works with foster carers from all walks of life. e.g. those who are in a same-sex relationship, are Travellers, are of African or Eastern European origin, are Muslim, have a disability, who don’t have a job currently, who rent, who are single, who are over 40, and with parents who both work.
As of March 31, 2026, there were 830 foster carers in the Southwest, (a Tusla strategic area which encompasses South Tipperary): 568 of whom are General Foster Carers and 262 of whom are relative foster carers. There were 379 General Foster Carers on the panel and 157 Relative Foster Carers, giving a total of 536.Tusla’s National Lead for Fostering, Jacqui Smyth, says Tusla Fostering welcomes applicants and enquiries from all backgrounds to provide foster care, which comes in a variety of forms, from short-term respite care to relative care and long-term.
“It is really important that the pool of available foster carers is as diverse and unique as possible because the needs of every child differ. Right now, in every part of Ireland there is a need for foster carers. Children come into care from every socio-economic group, across religions and cultures, across rural and urban communities throughout our country. Every child deserves the chance to live in a home within their own community.At Tusla Fostering, our focus is to support foster carers and encourage people to consider becoming a carer for a child who is unable to remain at home. We do this through a spectrum of support for fostering families. We collaborate closely with stakeholders and colleagues to innovate and advocate for children and families in the foster care system,” said Hayley.
Concluding Hayley said: “Friends have been marvellous as well because five kids in a normal situation is a lot. The school has also been amazing. It’s not just us; it really is a network of people that help us. Everyone is there to support the children to reach their full potential, so loads of lovely positivity has been shown to us no matter where you go.”To learn more about being a foster carer with Tusla, visit fostering.ie, call Freefone 1800 226 771 or email [email protected]