Billy O'Riordan Column: There's always light at the end of the tunnel

May being the month selected to highlight mental health issues, I was privileged to sit down (on video call) with Clonmel man Dave Fallon to discuss his personal struggles during his formative years growing up in Clonmel.
In a refreshingly candid chat, Dave divulged details of his traumatic experience of growing up in town. He told me that his school experience was scarred by being on the end of relentless bullying by some of his fellow students.
Dave stood out because of his sexuality and his artistic temperament, both of which drew the bullies’ relentless attacks, throughout the entirety of his secondary school years.
It reached a point where he would eat his lunch in the art room to avoid the school yard harassment from his tormentors.
Much to Dave’s credit he managed to navigate his way through the Leaving Certificate, only to have a severe breakdown shortly after leaving school, while working for a local chemical company. This was because of a tsunami of pent-up anguish acquired through many years of repeated bullying.
Dave spent four years recovering in mental health institutions and at one point his consultant feared that he was in danger of becoming “permanently hospitalised”.
This is where Dave’s sheer force of personality and determination took hold. He somehow managed to claw his way back to a point where he took charge of his own future.
The next step for Dave was academia, a place that offered him a sanctuary, and somewhere to express his natural gifts for writing and drama.
Dave explained: “In college it was not my sexuality which people saw, they simply weren’t bothered by it.” Academic life offered him the solace he craved, and it became the perfect environment for him to thrive.
During his college career Dave nurtured his talent for writing and has had two books of poetry published. He credits his writing as cathartic, a method of exorcising his demons and in his own words “poetry is how I truly express myself”.
Further into our conversation, I asked Dave about how his peers are coping with the current lockdown? He revealed that a rise in the recreational use of drugs among his contemporaries is deeply concerning to him.
He feels that a major issue is the need for assistance to be offered to younger people experiencing mental health issues, in their locality.
Dave spoke of a need for “my local services, my supports in my local town, near me”.
He articulated this point well and, with much personal experience, he emphasised the need for years of support for young people going through mental health difficulties.
As we discussed earlier, Dave’s writing became a great source of solace to him during his darkest hours.
Through the written word he was, in his own words, able to “say things, express my own sense of loss, find myself again”.
Dave’s father had been murdered before he moved to college, yet another horrendous emotional obstacle to overcome for an already vulnerable young man. So, while in his second year of college he had a book of poetry published, an extraordinary personal accomplishment given his harrowing journey to recovery.
Having spent time with Dave, I was impressed by his forthrightness and honesty.
Dave Fallon’s was a young life marred by a personal family tragedy and relentless bullying inflicted upon him because of his sexuality. His advice to anyone going through the same is “call it out and get professional help”. He encourages any person young or old who is going through difficulties to “get help, there is light at the end of the tunnel”.
Because of his life experiences, Dave is very heavily involved in advocating for more resources for mental health. He is a champion of gay rights, the homeless and action for suicide prevention, as well as many other causes too numerous to mention. Each year he contributes an evocative personal reflection for the annual suicide Remembrance Walk, which takes place each September.
I was delighted to speak with Dave, our chat leaving a lasting impression on me. I wish to thank him for sharing his personal story with our readers and hopefully his open conversation around mental health will encourage others who are struggling to come forward and seek the necessary help.
In the erudite words of Dave Fallon, “never let anyone silence you”.