COLUMN: 'Skin colour is no more than the result of the latitude at which we are born'

Life is about teaching ourselves, relearning, refining and redefining but we tend to get lazy and comfortable.

After all, there’s no point in rocking the boat, causing effort for ourselves, is there? It takes energy to decide that life needs a shake up and it’s hard to begin.

When we do begin asking questions, the language we use is vitally important. The language of the problem can’t be the language of the solution.

Whether we change ourselves or our society we begin with how we describe both and we invariably make mistakes because we look to change personal reality, not seeing the bigger picture, that we are only changing things for ourselves without wondering if our changes will bring greater harmony to everyone.

We still see the world in terms of us and them, exemplified in how we tell men and women to relate to each other or how we divide society, separating according to race, belief, gender, politics or opportunity. These are how we divide ourselves but it seems to me that it’s very wrong.

When we use race as differentiation we have already created division. In truth, a person isn’t black or white, they’re human.

Skin colour is no more than the result of the latitude at which we are born.

When we use terms such as “white privilege” to differentiate we create an environment where simply having equal access to housing, education, medical care, personal security, fairness and employment are now privileges, but they’re not. Anyone not having these basic human rights is disadvantaged and needs to be brought up to this level so that the concept of privilege is removed and fairness in all aspects of life is espoused.

We use labels that define us within an exclusive group, creating an instant distinction, where we want our rules imposed on society because we feel we have the right to fence off our version of reality.

Saying “DON’T do x, y, z” creates closed statements allowing for no discussion or differing viewpoints. We might change that to look at what common values we should hold, turning things on their head to create a society where everyone has a fair chance of living a happy, secure, loved life where strengths are applauded and needs nurtured.

To do that we start with both ends of the spectrum. We teach children and we retrain ourselves. It might look something like this...

There are no colours, just people. There are no religions, just faith. There are no lesser or greater, just one human race.

There is no left and right, just fear to be overcome. The values we teach each other are born of respect and respect is all that matters.

Men, DO respect women. Respect their strengths, respect their weaknesses. Teach your sons to be decent, honourable people who see women as equals in every sphere of life. Men, DO teach your sons that equal means nothing to do with physicality.

The majority of men are physically stronger than their female counterparts but that’s a poor measure of equality, isn’t it?

Every woman you will meet in your life is your equal because she can do things you can’t, right? NO! Every woman is equal because she is a person... there is no baseline other than that.

DO Teach your sons to respect women, that at least is a start but how about teaching all children to respect EVERYONE. Teach them to hold themselves accountable for their actions, for their speech, how they think, with regard to every single person they meet.

DO teach them to also hold their peers accountable for each of the above in a way that says, “we simply don’t behave in that low kind of fashion toward other people because we are better than that”.

Men, DO elevate your perceptions, your values and your behaviours so every woman is seen as your sister. What does seeing her as your sister mean? It means wanting the very best in life for her as you would your sister.

DO TEACH YOUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS ABOUT HONOUR. It’s an old fashioned concept that has never been so sorely needed. Right action, right thinking and a life with principles in it; principles that they can adhere to.

Women get the same rules, the same way of teaching your sons and daughters as above. As for your daughters, teach them to see men as equals in human terms, removing the man bashing ideology that modern society would have you espouse.

Teach your children that EVERYONE should be expected to hold open doors: men, women, sons and daughters alike. Teach them that they can accept a man’s help if offered and that they can offer help TO A MAN OR A WOMAN if it looks like they need it.

Teach your sons to know their emotions and to express them. Teach your daughters to respect that in men and to respect the same in themselves.

Teach...teach...teach...the burden is with us to teach children who can hold themselves to a higher standard because in teaching our children we teach ourselves.

Consumerism will seek to drag us downward. The disposable consumer path is an easier path where there is less self-examination and thinking.

When you opt for the higher path you may realise that the world we get is the world we create.

Create a better world where we respect and protect everyone, helping them be better, more compassionate, emotionally mature humans.

Everyone brings strengths to the table. Love is the common bond that unites us, love that says I will do my utmost to see you are okay in life and where vulnerability is seen as an opportunity to care rather than to take advantage.

Love your neighbour as yourself.

See that lesson for what it is. Love your neighbour because they are yourself. We’re all neighbours.

The Art of Acceptance sees us as one tribe, if we can only get past fear and learn that the only labels that count are “human family”.