Discovery of his mother's grave makes Tipperary man feel 'complete'

A Clonmel man says the discovery of his birth mother’s grave has made him feel “complete”. 

Pat Williams’ five-year search for his mother’s final resting place finally ended when he located the unmarked grave in Cormac’s cemetery in Cashel.

He was only a year-old when his mother Rosemary Whitely died and he was 16 when he learned that he had been adopted by Joan and John Williams in Upper Irishtown, Clonmel. 

Poignantly, his search for his mother’s grave ended shortly before the 42nd anniversary of her death last Sunday, and his 43rd birthday the previous day.

As he stood at the graveside, he said the first words he uttered were “mam, I found you”. 

“I now know where she is and I can go and have a chat with her on Christmas morning, her birthday and other times. 

COMPLETES THE CIRCLE

“I also know where my adopted parents are buried in St Patrick’s cemetery in Clonmel and this completes the circle.”

He admits it was a very emotional and tough experience to finally stand at the grave of the mother he never knew, and whose existence he only learned about when he was 16. 

Even though the grave isn’t marked by a headstone, he says he immediately got a feeling he was in the right place.

Pat, from Upper Irishtown, says that his mother suffered a breakdown when they were separated shortly after his birth. 

She was transferred from St Joseph’s hospital in Clonmel (now the South Tipperary General Hospital), where he was born, to the nearby St Luke’s Psychiatric Hospital.  

She was later sent to a workhouse in Mullingar. The day after Pat’s first birthday she took her own life.

“She died of a broken heart in the finish,” he says.

“I found out from other people that she didn’t want to give me up and she fought tooth and nail to get me back.”

Pat, meanwhile, ended up in the Cork mother and baby home Bessborough House, from where he was adopted by the Williams family. His adopted mother Joan died in 1995 and his adopted father John passed away last July.

Coupled with the discovery of his birth mother’s grave, he says it feels as if he has gone through two funerals this year.

“You just have to deal with it,” he says.

Ever since he appealed  for help in finding the grave, he said the support he received has been “unbelievable,” including from Sinn Féin Deputy Martin Browne.

Pat says his next task is to discover the identity of the burial plot owner so he can erect a headstone to his mother.

“She deserves that much,” he says.

For more Tipperary news read Clonmel Lions Club will distribute Christmas hampers to the less well-off