Staying true to herself- Edyta's mantra helped her overcome life challenges

I will never forget the sound of the door closing when my husband moved out. It was like somebody had cut the thread between my past life and my future life. That sound is still in my ears. For me, that sound was like my starting pistol, telling me that I could start my race.
I only came to Ireland in the first place to spend a bit of time with my husband. He had come here to Clonmel, and I was just waiting for my daughter, Isabelle, to finish with preschool before joining him for the summer. I had absolutely no plans to stay. I had a business, and a life, to get back to in Poland. I was a beautician, and I had my own salon where I spoke my native language. We had one child, and we owned our apartment. I have a big family in Poland. Weekend-to- weekend, we were always planning where to go, who to visit, and who was going to bring something to eat. That was my life, 15 years ago. It was a good life. Everything seemed settled. Then I came here that summer, and I never went back. Not to live, anyway. I was aware when I moved that I would have to change my life completely, but I think I wanted, or even needed, the challenge. I wanted to stay here, learn English, and try a different life. And overnight, I went from owning my own business to working in a nursing home in a country where I didn’t speak the language. The work wasn’t always easy, but I enjoyed it there, and I never felt like anyone thought I was less of a person for being Polish. Eventually, I did move on.
Over the years, I have worked in restaurants and offices, and I’ve done training in quality management and fitness training. It was a very busy time, and I have had so many experiences that have changed me, prepared me for the life I am living now.
While all of this was going on, life was changing for my whole family as well. My daughter, Isa, was five when we moved here. Then my younger daughter, Nicole, was born when Isa was seven. I felt quite comfortable being pregnant here. I didn’t think the maternity system felt much different from Poland. For that matter, I never felt like bringing up children here was very different to doing it back in Poland. There is a big culture of family here, going round on Sunday and having a roast dinner, and that’s the same as in Poland. Of course, I don’t have my family here, so we don’t get to do those things with our family; we do them with friends instead. And there were times when I felt homesick for the family gatherings. I had mixed feelings about my girls missing out on all of that, but then I realised that it was me who was missing it. Not them. They’d never known it. They will always have their Polish blood, but my girls are Irish.

For a long time, my primary focus was on my family, on trying to create a happy environment, keeping us all together, despite the challenges in our lives and in our relationship. But eventually I had to make a decision to face the possibility that our family would be healthier in a different way. I had to trust that I was able to be on my own and take care of myself. And that’s when I started building my new home, my new life, my club.
My club is my refuge. It saved me. The break-up of my marriage was difficult, but I knew it was also an opportunity: my opportunity to be independent and build something for myself. I had just finished my fitness instructor training at Waterford IT, and I wanted to do something with it. Something different that no one else was doing. And that’s when I decided to open my trampoline club.
When I spoke to people I knew from the Polish community about my plans, some of them were worried that I might not succeed. That it would be too difficult to run a business here, as a Polish person expecting to have Irish customers. “Of course, there are Polish grocery stores, but they are run by and for members of the Polish community,” they said. But people told me that a business meant for the general, meaning Irish, public was a different story. I trusted my friends, but I also knew that I believed in myself and wanted to try.
It was definitely a challenge. For one thing, being a single parent, you have to be very organised. And you absolutely have to have friends, people around you that you can call and say, “If you’ll take my children this weekend, I’ll take yours next weekend.” The other challenge was that I really had nothing, and I had to start from scratch. When I found the premises, it looked nothing like it does now. It needed a lot of work. But I saw something there, and I’m not afraid to work. I moved in, cleaned up, and painted the floors and the walls, all by myself. I got a saw and cut the wood for the signs on the walls. I was there, working on my club, all the time. But I also got to design it to feel exactly how I wanted it. The walls are painted with my reasons for all the hard work, and even now, for continuing to work hard. They say things like, “I want to be happy. I want to push past my limits. I want to conquer my fears.” These are my reasons; they have kept me going when things got difficult.
Once I had the place cleaned up, it was time to get moving. I bought ten trampolines and I even took the speakers from my own house so that I could start training right away. And it wasn’t just a Polish business. My customers come from all over the world. A lot of them are Irish. And nobody seems to mind at all that I’m not. I think it's because music and dancing are really universal languages. The club has always been so much more than a job to me, and my customers have become so much more than customers. I have a second family. We call ourselves a ‘jumping family.’
So once again, I was running my own business and things were going well, and then life changed very suddenly. Coronavirus arrived. At first, I was worried about the business, like so many people were worried about their jobs. Specifically, if I could take care of my children, on my own. My girls are old enough to understand all of these things, so they asked me, “Mum, are we going to have enough money for food, for rent, for life?” And I didn’t want to frighten them, but I never lie to my girls, so I told them, “Of course I’m worried, but I will find a solution.” I didn’t know if I would, but I had to believe it, for their sake. And it wasn’t just the bills, it was the upheaval in their lives.
My eldest had just moved away to university, and I had to bring her home to Clonmel. She worked hard doing her online classes, but it was extremely difficult. She said, “My whole college life that I was waiting for has disappeared.” And she was right. It was heartbreaking. Meanwhile, my younger daughter finished primary school in the middle of lockdown. She didn’t even get to say goodbye to her friends. It was a challenging and anxious time for them, so of course it was for me too. I needed to be strong for them, but I sometimes felt that I didn’t have anyone to confide in about my worries, or to share the burden of trying to make life as happy and normal as possible for the girls. On top of everything going on in my personal life, my jumping family also needed me during the pandemic. They were calling me, all of them, saying, “What are we going to do? How are we going to train?” And there were times when I felt like I had the weight of everyone’s expectations on me. I know I’m a strong person, but I wasn’t sure if I could carry it. I was on my own, a single mother, business owner, wondering how on earth I was going to look after everyone.
But having all those people relying on me was actually the thing that made the difference. They never abandoned me, my jumping family, they never left me to fend for myself. They came straight to me and paid me the same amount to keep doing lessons on Zoom. I delivered my trampolines to the first 14 people who wanted them, and we kept up with two virtual training sessions a week. Some of my other customers bought their own trampolines so they could participate. One of them couldn’t do the online training, but she kept paying me for the training all the same. They all said: “Edyta, this is our home. We have to make sure this place survives. Just make sure it’s still here when this is all over.” For me, that is the magic of my club. It has saved me so many times.
The biggest lesson I have learned from leaving Poland and living a different life in Ireland is how to stay open to what life might bring. My life is happier than ever, because I stay true to myself and take the risk of doing what I want, even if it seems difficult or unconventional. I feel like that is my gift for my community too. In a way, by building a club for myself, I ended up building it for anyone else, like me, who needed a place to feel at home.
I don’t believe in dividing people. I don’t change my attitude toward a person based on where they’re from or their skin colour or what they’re doing in bed, and with whom. I don’t care how much money someone makes. I don’t even care how fit they are or how much they weigh - if someone came in needing a special trampoline that holds more weight, I’d buy it for them. Some people come in here, expecting me to have a six-pack and look like an Instagram model, but for me, fitness is about both physical and mental health. It’s about making yourself stronger and believing in yourself. Self-acceptance is more important to me than how many centimetres I have on my thighs.
My life is a good one. I walk my dog, Honey, every morning. I go to my club and dance with my jumping family.
My life is full of music. Most of all, I am teaching my daughters to be independent. I want them to know that they can achieve whatever they want, and that a boyfriend or husband shouldn’t be their life, he should add something to the life they already have. I still believe in love, and I hope they find it, but as big a love as they find, I want them to know that at some moment in the future if their partner closes the door, that they can still exist. That they can be happy, and build their own place in the world, like I have.

Rachel Clarke

Rachel Clarke grew up in the United States, where she earned a Degree in Creative Writing. She taught English in Poland and France for several years before moving to Ireland where she now lives with her husband and three children, writing short fiction in between school runs.

Kriti and Atul have found a real sense of place in their new home of Clonmel

Our Sense of Place

Rinta is very happy in her 'forever home' of Clonmel

Remarkable life: an amazing young mother who has already lived through many experiences

Love has brought Leina from cosmopolitan Zagreb to the peaceful Glen of Aherlow

Our Sense of Place

Love has brought Leina from cosmopolitan Zagreb to the peaceful Glen of Aherlow

Our Sense of Place

Romanian nurse and mother who appreciates her family's new life here is much better

Moya Coplica talks to Aislinn Kelly about her journey from Romania to Ireland and how her wonderful work ethic and love for children has fulfilled her life

Irish citizen Chebuche feels very much at home in Kilcash and carries Nigeria in her heart

Our Sense of Place

Marathon man Sergiu's journey from Moldovan wine to Clonmel Honey

Our Sense of Place

'I am definitely Irish now- big time,' insists Renny who is honoured to be accepted in Clonmel

Our Sense of Place: Renny Abraham has fulfilled all of his dreams in Clonmel